There is nothing that can prepare you for the moment when you discover that the person closest to you, who you count on the most, has betrayed you. For partners of sex addicts there is an additional emotional whammy as you begin to recognize that these are not one-time events that have occurred but a pattern of behavior over time that points to a larger problem, an addiction to sex.
For most partners of a sex addict, discovering your spouse’s sexual behavior spins your world madly out of control. In a split second your sense of safety is shattered, your trust is gone, and everything you thought you knew and could count on is in question. There is overwhelming confusion and then there is the pain; the sheer heart-rending betrayal.
Complex Betrayal Trauma
Partners of sex addicts often experience what we at CRR refer to as Complex Betrayal Trauma resulting from being in a long-term relationship with someone who is sexually addicted. Complex Betrayal Trauma is made of up three overwhelming and traumatic experiences all meeting together in a perfect storm where each intersects with and overlaps the other.
Each of these types of trauma is incredibly complicated and overwhelming all by itself. Combined together these traumas create a complex set of symptoms and challenges that partners are faced with, making it vital that each type of trauma is understood and addressed in order to heal.
Treatment for Partners
At the Center for Relational Recovery we walk partners through the tasks and phases involved in healing from betrayal trauma. Partner Trauma Treatment can be done either individually or as a couple. Please see the Treating Sex Addiction page for more information about the tasks and phases of betrayal trauma treatment for partners.
For more information and resources for betrayed partners please visit our sister website PartnerHope.