Here’s the thing about Betrayal Trauma. It makes you feel like you are losing your mind. It puts you on an emotional rack and pulls you in opposite directions until you are begging for mercy or you break and ricochet over to one of the extremes just to find some relief. I wish that when I was going through the many rounds of betrayal I experienced that I knew then what I know today. More … [Read more...]
July Recommended Reading
What Makes Love Last: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal by John Gottman, PhD John Gottman is the inventor of the “Love Lab,” a facility at the University of Washington in Seattle, where Gottman conducted research with volunteer couples by subjecting their long-term romances to scientific scrutiny. The Love Lab is a studio apartment, and couples agreed to be observed in their relationships … [Read more...]
Triggers and Shame: A Self-Defeating Duo
Triggers. People who have experienced trauma of some sort will often talk about feeling triggered. This is a common experience for the partner of a sex addict, who after having learned her relationship is not what she thought it was, will report that an image, comment, television ad, or location will “trigger” her. What does she really mean? When someone has been betrayed by her spouse or partner … [Read more...]
Spotlight on Recovery Resources and Inspiration…
Every month we bring your way ideas and information on resources, media, or tools to be inspirational, motivating, or helpful in your recovery journey. Feeling stuck or in significant pain? Does it feel like you’ve been working on getting healthy but you continue to face roadblocks? Maybe you need to do something different – something more. The recovery journey is one that takes place … [Read more...]
Reality Fragmentation: Letting Go of What You Thought You Knew
Reality Fragmentation is when you discover that the reality you thought you were living is a fiction. Instead you have been living in an entirely separate reality, but you didn’t know it. One of the most emotionally damaging things you can do to a person is to make them doubt their ability to perceive reality accurately. Reality Fragmentation and the resulting disorientation create a feeling for … [Read more...]
June Recommended Reading
Getting the Love You Want, by Harville Hendrix PhD Getting the Love You Want, was originally published in 1988, and has been revised several times. Hendrix and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, were the originators of Imago Relationship Counseling, a type of couples’ therapy. The term “imago” is Latin for “image, “and refers to the “unconscious image of familiar love.” In other words, there is … [Read more...]
The Handicap Created By Emotional Disconnect
We often think that emotions are felt with our minds, but this is not true. Emotions are felt in the body. While the mind oversees naming the emotion, and giving it meaning, the feeling itself gets felt by the body. Consider the following ways our bodies register emotion. Rage makes us feel tingly and tight throughout our chest and arms and face. Shame brings a flood of heat and warmth to … [Read more...]
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