Every month we bring your way ideas and information on resources, media, or tools to be inspirational, motivating, or helpful in your recovery journey.
This month the spotlight is focused on a music video found on YouTube dubbed “A Music Video on Porn, Sex & Love.” Titled “No Angels,” hip hop artist Jason Chu has produced a compelling and revealing story about his struggles with porn, his warring internal conflicts, and the pain, hurt, and anger it causes the girl he loves.
The hypnotic rhythm draws you into an alluring melody that is beautiful and haunting. The musicianship masterfully captures the conflict between ecstatic pleasure and excitement, mixed with the dark potential of being controlled. The lyrics dance back and forth between the delight of an idealized perfected female form versus isolation in the absence of genuine love and the convoluted perception that the value of a woman is “her body not her soul.” Chu’s poetry catches multiple layers of desires, disillusionments, and disgusts…
The goddess that captivated me is just a tab to exit
History deleted, I’m cleaning up my messes
It makes me sick just to think about it
A couple hours later, all I’ll do is think about it
Making the video most powerful is the visual accompanying the lyrics and melody. Side by side and faces forward, we see the rapper Chu right next to an image of his girlfriend as she listens and takes in the meaning of the words. We watch the young woman’s delicate, appealing facial expressions go from questioning, to tearful hurt, to anger as she processes the implications of her lover’s poetry. Without hearing any words from her, we surmise she has pangs of feeling inadequate in her own sexual self-esteem, the feeling of betrayal as he is lusting and fantasizing about other women, and the roar of anger as she feels his objectifying, lustful, expectations turned on her.
There’s a lot of emotion in these 4 minutes and 55 seconds. I highly recommend you tune in and receive both the verbal and non-verbal message that allows us to understand and empathize with the experience of the partner, while also appreciating the addict’s tormented pain as he fights to be the man his partner deserves. You’ll find the YouTube video here. The lyrics are quite clear, but if you want to read them, they are displayed at this website.
Cheryl Schenck, LPC, CSAT