Because healing your sexual self can feel daunting, because it creates uncomfortable feelings of sadness, shame, blame, guilt, pain, and fear, because it involves risk, because it is a movement out of the familiar and into the unknown, you may be tempted to take a passive approach. Being passive is not intentional. It happens because it is the default option. It is easier to just keep going along as is because even though you are living with the negative impacts of sexual betrayal, it somehow feels safer to stay there than to strive for growth and health in an area where you feel so wounded.
The danger here is that humans are not by nature stagnant. We do not continually stand still (either physically or emotionally). Rather, we are continually developing, evolving, and changing. That is how we survive and thrive as individuals and as a species. And we cannot healthfully ignore this fact in our sexual lives.
If we do not take a proactive approach to healing the sexual wounds created by betrayal, these wounds will fester, becoming infected and causing deeper problems for us. Rather than being temporary, the wounds will become chronic. In such cases, the negative impacts of sexual betrayal create patterns and habits and new ways of thinking and behaving that become ever more deeply etched into our sexual selves (and therefore more difficult to change). So we must act, and we must do so sooner rather than later.
The truth is that your sexuality will not heal itself. The wounds created by sexual betrayal are significant, shattering your previous understanding of who you are and altering your sense of self around your sexuality, and you must take conscious action to heal these wounds. Sexual betrayal is not a mere scratch. It will not simply heal on its own over time.
Healing from sexual betrayal requires that you intentionally focus on understanding how betrayal has impacted you and create a new understanding of your sexual self – reclaiming (or maybe claiming for the first time) your sexual voice and power. The Sex After Betrayal: Reclaiming Your Sexual Voice intensive is designed to do exactly that. Providing you with expert help and support and a safe space in which to learn, explore and healing the sexual wounds caused by betrayal.