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Welcome to the Center for Relational Recovery

Each week we publish a new blog post covering topics related to addiction, betrayal trauma, relationships, and recovery. Included in these posts are a monthly reading recommendation spotlighting two books that we think should not be missed as well as a post pointing you to helpful recovery resources and information.

Sign up below to receive CRR’s weekly blog post.

Each week we publish a new blog post covering topics related to addiction, betrayal trauma, relationships, and recovery. Included in these posts are a monthly reading recommendation spotlighting two books that we think should not be missed as well as a post pointing you to helpful recovery resources and information.

Sign up below to receive CRR’s weekly blog post.
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** NEW BOOK AVAILABLE NOW - The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst - https://michellemays.com/book/ **

FREE MASTERCLASS The 5-Step Strategy to Heal from Betrayal: https://watch.partnerhope.com/s/JdETXO

Be sure to hit SUBSCRIBE to be notified when new content becomes available!
Order The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst: https://michellemays.com/book/
Read the Authentic Hope Blog: https://michellemays.com/blog/
Follow me on Facebook: https://facebook.com/OfficialMichelle...
Follow me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/michellemays_/
Join my free Hope After Betrayal Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/hopeafter...

Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

** NEW BOOK AVAILABLE NOW - The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst - https://michellemays.com/book/ **

FREE MASTERCLASS The 5-Step Strategy to Heal from Betrayal: https://watch.partnerhope.com/s/JdETXO

Be sure to hit SUBSCRIBE to be notified when new content becomes available!
Order The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst: https://michellemays.com/book/
Read the Authentic Hope Blog: https://michellemays.com/blog/
Follow me on Facebook: https://facebook.com/OfficialMichelle...
Follow me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/michellemays_/
Join my free Hope After Betrayal Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/hopeafter...

Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

** NEW BOOK AVAILABLE NOW - The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst - https://michellemays.com/book/ **

If you are a betrayed partner, you may have heard the term Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder used to describe the symptoms you are dealing with or as a diagnostic category for the experience of betrayal trauma.

You ARE experiencing trauma, and your symptoms may match this diagnostic category...but this term can be misleading!

When we talk about PTSD, we are referring to those individuals who experienced a traumatic event in the past. These traumas have ended and are over, and now we are dealing with the impact.

When it comes to betrayal trauma, partners are still living WITHIN THE TRAUMA. They are in the middle of discovery. The cheating may still be happening. They are likely still dealing with lying and gaslighting behaviors. They are continuing to find out new things that happened or develop a full awareness of what happened. They are trying to reconcile the life they thought they had with a life they no longer recognize.

Betrayed partners and their helpers (therapists, pastors, friends and family) are coping with a DYNAMIC and MULTIDIMENSIONAL process. Every new piece of information alters a betrayed partner's reality - past, present, and future.

Treating betrayal trauma is an invitation to participate in a relational rodeo that will stretch one’s agility and capacity as a therapist to its limit. It is a different type of work, and betrayed partners, even when they do not have the language to describe the complex, dynamic, multi-dimensional trauma that they are in the middle of, know that they have been plunged into relational chaos and pain. They need an experienced wrangler to get in the ring with them and help them deal with whatever is coming next.

--
FREE MASTERCLASS The 5-Step Strategy to Heal from Betrayal: https://watch.partnerhope.com/s/JdETXO

Be sure to hit SUBSCRIBE to be notified when new content becomes available!
Order The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst: https://michellemays.com/book/
Read the Authentic Hope Blog: https://michellemays.com/blog/
Follow me on Facebook: https://facebook.com/OfficialMichelleMays/
Follow me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/michellemays_/
Join my free Hope After Betrayal Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal/

Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

** NEW BOOK AVAILABLE NOW - The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst - https://michellemays.com/book/ **

A part of cheating that creates so much trauma for betrayed partners is the lying that is involved in covering up that behavior. Gaslighting is the overall term we use to describe the lying, manipulation, and self-destruction that is so common for the cheating partner.

Although painful, gaslighting is a very normal phenomenon that is part of cheating. So, repairing gaslighting and coming into honesty is a normal part of the recovery and repair process.

When betrayed partners developed a deeper understanding of what's going on in these areas, they will be able to develop healthier responses that promote recovery.

--
FREE MASTERCLASS The 5-Step Strategy to Heal from Betrayal: https://watch.partnerhope.com/s/JdETXO

**NEW BOOK AVAILABLE NOW - The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst**

Be sure to hit SUBSCRIBE to be notified when new content becomes available!
Order The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst: https://michellemays.com/book/
Read the Authentic Hope Blog: https://michellemays.com/blog/
Follow me on Facebook: https://facebook.com/OfficialMichelleMays
Follow me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/michellemays_/
Join my free Hope After Betrayal Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal

Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model provides a clear attachment-based path to healing partner betrayal. Learn more at michellemays.com/the-braving-hope-treatment-model/

The need for a fresh perspective regarding sexual betrayal cannot be overstated. Both those impacted by sexual betrayal and treatment professionals struggled to understand and address the complex emotional dynamics and behavior patterns that emerge following betrayal.

The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model addresses the acute need for a demystifying paradigm and a clear treatment path through…
✔️ Introducing a new attachment-based model that presents new language, concepts and imagery to explore the crucial relational dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing.
✔️ Prioritizing the relational nature of sexual betrayal, recognizing that even the best guidance and help can fall short without a thorough understanding of how an attachment system in distress functions and alters relationships with the self and others.
✔️ Re-focusing the work of recovery toward learning how to come back into a state of connection after experiencing the profoundly fragmentation experience of disconnection through betrayal.

The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model is rooted in research examining the nature and role of betrayal in traumatic experiences.
Betrayal creates immediate relational disconnection. This experience of disconnection lies at the root of all the symptomatic behaviors that betrayed partners display in the aftermath of betrayal.

Without understanding this core issue – how a partner’s attachment system functions in the wake of sexual betrayal – we are missing a vital element in understanding why partners do the things they do and how to effectively treat them. We also miss the key to unlocking true long-lasting information: relational connection. Because if betrayal happens in relationship, then it makes sense that our healing and restoration much also happen in relationship.

The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model identifies three overlapping injuries at the heart of sexual betrayal:

💔 the attachment injury
💔 the emotional & psychological injury
💔 the sexual injury

These three injuries weave together, creating an overlapping, intertwining kaleidoscope of betrayal that often touches the nerve center of all three experiences simultaneously.

The Seven Betrayal Binds are the relational dilemmas that are created when betrayal occurs at the hands of our most significant other.

1. Heart Bind
2. Attachment Ambivalence Bind
3. Attachment Shame Bind
4. Betrayal Blindness Bind
5. Fear of Loss Bind
6. Powerlessness Bind
7. Sexual Carried Shame Bind

The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model provides a clear attachment-based path to healing partner betrayal.

This path moves through six phases: devastation, realization, stabilization, reimagining, creating, and flourishing. Each phase of The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model has its own goals, tasks and outcomes.

Each of these phases outlines the specific skills, tools and relational abilities that, when developed, will move betrayed partners out of pain and confusion in a place of connection, empowerment and wholeness.

Learn more at michellemays.com/the-braving-hope-treatment-model/

** NEW BOOK COMING MARCH 7, 2023- The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst - https://michellemays.com/book/ **

● Are you going blind to betrayal in your relationship?
● Why do people tuck information about what has happened to them out of their awareness?
● Why do betrayed partners go blind to the traumas that they endure?

Dr. Jennifer Freyd, one of the seminal researchers on the issue of betrayal trauma, coined the term “betrayal blindness” to describe the tendency to withhold threatening information from our awareness in an effort to protect our primary attachment.

Betrayal blindness is an important topic for betrayed partners to be aware of and has a profound impact on their healing.

In this video, I'll discuss the patterns of betrayal blindness that I've observed in nearly every betrayed partner I've worked with over the past two decades - and how I've helped them to overcome it!

--
FREE MASTERCLASS The 5-Step Strategy to Heal from Betrayal: https://watch.partnerhope.com/s/JdETXO

**NEW BOOK COMING MARCH 7, 2023- The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst**

Be sure to hit SUBSCRIBE to be notified when new content becomes available!

Read the Authentic Hope Blog: https://michellemays.com/blog/
Follow me on Facebook: https://facebook.com/OfficialMichelleMays
Follow me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/michellemays_/
Join my free Hope After Betrayal Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal

Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

** NEW BOOK COMING MARCH 7, 2023- The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst - https://michellemays.com/book/ **

In this video, Michelle provides in-depth insight for HOW betrayed partners can prepare for DISCLOSURE (before, during, and after) so that they can feel resourced and equipped with tools to stay grounded and fully present in the process.

DISCLOSURE and DISCOVERY are two very different processes that are experienced very differently by the betrayed partner and should not be confused with one another.

DISCLOSURE is a facilitated, carefully prepared and supported process where the unfaithful individual provides his or her partner with a fully honest account of his or her history of cheating or sexual acting out behaviors.

DISCOVERY is when partial truth is unintentionally revealed or is told in bits and pieces over time as the cheating partner attempts to limit the damage from their behaviors and keep information hidden.
--
FREE MASTERCLASS The 5-Step Strategy to Heal from Betrayal: https://watch.partnerhope.com/s/JdETXO

**NEW BOOK COMING MARCH 7, 2023- The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst**

Be sure to hit SUBSCRIBE to be notified when new content becomes available!

Read the Authentic Hope Blog: https://michellemays.com/blog/
Follow me on Facebook: https://facebook.com/OfficialMichelleMays
Follow me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/michellemays_/
Join my free Hope After Betrayal Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal

Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

** NEW BOOK COMING MARCH 7, 2023- The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst - https://michellemays.com/book/ **

For the person dealing with problematic or out of control sexual behavior, the early stages of recovery can feel confusing. Meanwhile, their betrayed partner can feel overwhelmed and "in the dark" about what to expect. In this video, I discuss the initial tasks and steps of recovery for the partner working to repair the betrayal. And, I share an amazing opportunity to complete these initial recovery tasks and begin to build trust through the upcoming Foundations for Recovery 12 Week Group.
https://michellemays.com/programs/mens-foundations-group/
--
FREE MASTERCLASS The 5-Step Strategy to Heal from Betrayal: https://watch.partnerhope.com/s/JdETXO

**NEW BOOK COMING MARCH 7, 2023- The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst**

Be sure to hit SUBSCRIBE to be notified when new content becomes available!

Read the Authentic Hope Blog: https://michellemays.com/blog/
Follow me on Facebook: https://facebook.com/OfficialMichelleMays
Follow me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/michellemays_/
Join my free Hope After Betrayal Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal

Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

** NEW BOOK COMING MARCH 7, 2023- The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst - https://michellemays.com/book/ **

Everyone has an opinion about whether you should stay or go after discovering that your partner has cheated.

In this video, I'll share the 3 MOST IMPORTANT things you need to consider before making a decision about staying in or leaving your relationship.

---
FREE MASTERCLASS The 5-Step Strategy to Heal from Betrayal: https://watch.partnerhope.com/s/JdETXO

**NEW BOOK COMING MARCH 7, 2023- The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst**

Be sure to hit SUBSCRIBE to be notified when new content becomes available!

Read the Authentic Hope Blog: https://michellemays.com/blog/
Follow me on Facebook: https://facebook.com/OfficialMichelleMays
Follow me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/michellemays_/
Join my free Hope After Betrayal Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal

Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

** NEW BOOK COMING MARCH 7, 2023- The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst - https://michellemays.com/book/ **

Codependency is a hot button issue for betrayed partners! What is codependency? Where did it originate, and how did it become such a popular topic? How does it impact treatment for cheating partners and betrayed partners?

In this video, I'll share my own take on the concept of codependency and how reframing our thinking around this dynamic can help betrayed partners to shed shame and move forward in recovery.

---
FREE MASTERCLASS The 5-Step Strategy to Heal from Betrayal: https://watch.partnerhope.com/s/JdETXO

**NEW BOOK COMING MARCH 7, 2023- The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst**

Be sure to hit SUBSCRIBE to be notified when new content becomes available!

Read the Authentic Hope Blog: https://michellemays.com/blog/
Follow me on Facebook: https://facebook.com/OfficialMichelleMays
Follow me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/michellemays_/
Join my free Hope After Betrayal Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal

Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

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Center for Relational Recovery offers the information on this website, inclusive of but not limited to text, images and other material, for informational purposes only. This information should not be taken as advice or specific treatment recommendations; nor should it be used under any circumstances for diagnostic purposes. You are encouraged to make any health-related decisions in consultation with your qualified health care provider. Treatment results may vary from person to person.