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Welcome to the Center for Relational Recovery

Each week we publish a new blog post covering topics related to addiction, betrayal trauma, relationships, and recovery. Included in these posts are a monthly reading recommendation spotlighting two books that we think should not be missed as well as a post pointing you to helpful recovery resources and information.

Sign up below to receive CRR’s weekly blog post.

Each week we publish a new blog post covering topics related to addiction, betrayal trauma, relationships, and recovery. Included in these posts are a monthly reading recommendation spotlighting two books that we think should not be missed as well as a post pointing you to helpful recovery resources and information.

Sign up below to receive CRR’s weekly blog post.
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● Are you going blind to betrayal in your relationship?
● Why do people tuck information about what has happened to them out of their awareness?
● Why do betrayed partners go blind to the traumas that they endure?

Dr. Jennifer Freyd, one of the seminal researchers on the issue of betrayal trauma, coined the term “betrayal blindness” to describe the tendency to withhold threatening information from our awareness in an effort to protect our primary attachment.

Betrayal blindness is an important topic for betrayed partners to be aware of and has a profound impact on their healing.

In this video, I'll discuss the patterns of betrayal blindness that I've observed in nearly every betrayed partner I've worked with over the past two decades - and how I've helped them to overcome it!

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Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

● Are you going blind to betrayal in your relationship?
● Why do people tuck information about what has happened to them out of their awareness?
● Why do betrayed partners go blind to the traumas that they endure?

Dr. Jennifer Freyd, one of the seminal researchers on the issue of betrayal trauma, coined the term “betrayal blindness” to describe the tendency to withhold threatening information from our awareness in an effort to protect our primary attachment.

Betrayal blindness is an important topic for betrayed partners to be aware of and has a profound impact on their healing.

In this video, I'll discuss the patterns of betrayal blindness that I've observed in nearly every betrayed partner I've worked with over the past two decades - and how I've helped them to overcome it!

--
Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

In this video, Michelle provides in-depth insight for HOW betrayed partners can prepare for DISCLOSURE (before, during, and after) so that they can feel resourced and equipped with tools to stay grounded and fully present in the process.

DISCLOSURE and DISCOVERY are two very different processes that are experienced very differently by the betrayed partner and should not be confused with one another.

DISCLOSURE is a facilitated, carefully prepared and supported process where the unfaithful individual provides his or her partner with a fully honest account of his or her history of cheating or sexual acting out behaviors.

DISCOVERY is when partial truth is unintentionally revealed or is told in bits and pieces over time as the cheating partner attempts to limit the damage from their behaviors and keep information hidden.
--
Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

For the person dealing with problematic or out of control sexual behavior, the early stages of recovery can feel confusing. Meanwhile, their betrayed partner can feel overwhelmed and "in the dark" about what to expect. In this video, I discuss the initial tasks and steps of recovery for the partner working to repair the betrayal. And, I share an amazing opportunity to complete these initial recovery tasks and begin to build trust through the upcoming Foundations for Recovery 12 Week Group.
--
Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

Everyone has an opinion about whether you should stay or go after discovering that your partner has cheated.

In this video, I'll share the 3 MOST IMPORTANT things you need to consider before making a decision about staying in or leaving your relationship.

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Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

Codependency is a hot button issue for betrayed partners! What is codependency? Where did it originate, and how did it become such a popular topic? How does it impact treatment for cheating partners and betrayed partners?

In this video, I'll share my own take on the concept of codependency and how reframing our thinking around this dynamic can help betrayed partners to shed shame and move forward in recovery.

---
Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

Betrayed partners often struggle to understand their role in their partner's recovery, including a 12 step program, a sponsor, and communication around boundaries and expectations. In this video, Michelle provides insight on what partners have a right to know as they navigate the healing process after sexual betrayal.

--
Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

All individuals have an attachment style, which is our innate, instinctual drive to be connected to and attached to others. We fall into two main categories: securely attached and insecurely attached.

More often than not, betrayed partners and those dealing with compulsive sexual behavior are insecurely attached. In this video, we will explore the variations of insecure attachment that show up in this dynamic.

Insecure attachment styles can contribute to a cycle of pursuit and withdrawal. While this dynamic is common in relationships in general, it is greatly intensified in relationships after betrayal.

--

Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

If you are a betrayed partner, the holidays can be an incredibly challenging time as you deal with pressure, expectations, grief and loss. Here are four different tips and things for you to consider as you navigate your way through the holiday season.

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Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

In Staying, Leaving or Stuck? I dive into the topic of staying or leaving your relationship. In our culture, we hear many blanket statements about how betrayed partners should proceed after betrayal. In this video, I will help you to move from black and white thinking to a more nuanced and complex view of this topic.
--
Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.

Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of The Braving Hope Treatment Model, providing attachment-based healing for partner betrayal. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg, Virginia.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.

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Center for Relational Recovery offers the information on this website, inclusive of but not limited to text, images and other material, for informational purposes only. This information should not be taken as advice or specific treatment recommendations; nor should it be used under any circumstances for diagnostic purposes. You are encouraged to make any health-related decisions in consultation with your qualified health care provider. Treatment results may vary from person to person.