I recently had the opportunity to be interviewed by Rob Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S on his podcast called Sex, Love and Addiction 101. We talked about working with betrayed partners, explored the reasons why betrayed partners were pathologized early on by the addiction treatment field and defined complex betrayal trauma. To listen go to http://bit.ly/2CksnVZ. … [Read more...]
The Aftermath of Betrayal
Nothing can prepare you for the moment you discover that the person closest to you, the person you count on the most, has betrayed you. If you have experienced betrayal, you need help navigating the emotional devastation that follows. And, even more importantly, you need hope. The Aftermath of Betrayal, is intended to help you identify and articulate the experience you are having. To give you … [Read more...]
Podcast Episode “How To Navigate Through Betrayal Trauma” Featuring Michelle Mays
Every month we bring your way ideas and information on resources, media, or tools to be inspirational, motivating, or helpful in your recovery journey. This month I am recommending another excellent podcast called, “Sexual Addiction: Strength/Hope/Recovery,” by Carol the Coach. Not only is it a great place to get relevant information about recovery, this month our very own Michelle Mays … [Read more...]
March Recommended Reading
Fierce Intimacy by Terry Real (Audible Audiobook) I’m bringing you an audio-book this month because, why not? Terry Real is someone whose books I have recommended in past months. He is a master couple’s therapist and writes and speaks eloquently about how to do intimacy well. In this audio-book, Terry helps couples understand the issues creating conflict or disconnection in their … [Read more...]
Betrayal Requires Relational Recovery
If the significant wound of betrayal happens in relationship (and betrayal is always relational), then it makes sense that our healing and restoration must also happen in relationship. The impact of betrayal is always felt most profoundly in our sense of relational disconnection. We feel disconnected from ourselves and who we knew ourselves to be, from our significant other and who we thought he … [Read more...]
February Recomended Reading
Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy by David Richo If you are at the point in your healing from betrayal that you are wanting to really think deeply and work on how to rebuild trust in your relationship and with yourself, this is a great book for you. David provides a thoughtful definition of trust and looks at the key building blocks that must be in place for trust … [Read more...]
Ten Things To Do (and Not Do) After Betrayal
If you've been cheated on, no matter how it is revealed or how it is done, where, when, or with whom, the painful fact is that cheating means you've been lied to, manipulated, and your trust has been betrayed. It's like an earthquake shaking you to your core. And the aftershocks can seem even more painful and jarring. The consequences, repercussions, outcomes, emotions, and reactions seem … [Read more...]
January Recommended Reading
Daring to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. By Brene Brown If you have not yet picked up something by Brene Brown and been wowed by it, this might be your time. Building on her research and writing on shame, vulnerability and how to show up, be present and operate from your most authentic self, Brene now addresses these issues in the workplace. If you think about how much … [Read more...]
A Look Back
As we celebrate the holiday season with family and friends, we thought this week we'd review some of the most popular blog posts of 2018. We wish you a joyful holiday season and a happy new year. ~ The Center for Relational Recovery … [Read more...]
The Knowing And Not Knowing of Betrayal Blindness
Many betrayed partners come into therapy in a state of shock and disbelief about their partner’s extracurricular sexual behaviors. They sit on my couch and tell me they had no idea, not even an inkling, of what their significant other was doing. I listen to them, and I know that their shock and surprise about what they have discovered is real, and they truly did not know what was happening. But I … [Read more...]
December Recommended Reading
When It All Breaks Bad: Ten Things to Do (and not do) After Betrayal by Michelle D. Mays If you are a betrayed partner who has recently experienced the discovery of cheating or sexual acting out behavior in your relationship, this book is designed to give you some clear direction and support. The book takes you through ten recommended things to do after discovering betrayal and also points you … [Read more...]
Love and Survival – Boundaries in Relationship
Written by Cheryl Schenck, LPC, CSAT This time of year, many of us are spending more time with extended family than usual, which often brings up conflicted and uncomfortable feelings. One of the secrets to surviving these complicated, yet meaningful relationships is to have an understanding of boundaries in relationships. We need to have good boundaries to love well. Boundaries encompass … [Read more...]
Betrayal: It’s Not Your Fault
Most betrayed partners carry the burden of the same secret fear: that it is some lack in them that has caused their significant other to seek sexual experiences outside of the relationship. The fear goes something like this: If I were thinner, had bigger breasts, was taller, had tighter thighs, were younger, had a prettier face…then he would not be looking at pornography on the Internet. … [Read more...]
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