Nothing can prepare you for the moment you discover that the person closest to you, the person you count on the most, has betrayed you. If you have experienced betrayal, you need help navigating the emotional devastation that follows. And, even more importantly, you need hope. The Aftermath of Betrayal, is intended to help you identify and articulate the experience you are having. To give you … [Read more...]
Podcast Episode “How To Navigate Through Betrayal Trauma” Featuring Michelle Mays
Every month we bring your way ideas and information on resources, media, or tools to be inspirational, motivating, or helpful in your recovery journey. This month I am recommending another excellent podcast called, “Sexual Addiction: Strength/Hope/Recovery,” by Carol the Coach. Not only is it a great place to get relevant information about recovery, this month our very own Michelle Mays … [Read more...]
Helping Yourself After Betrayal
Betrayal Trauma destabilizes your emotional, physical, and mental functioning, making it very challenging to determine whom to trust. While desperately looking for some solid ground to stand on in the middle of the quicksand your life has become, it can feel impossible to know who to turn to. After all, you thought you were on solid ground before and it turned out to be a sinkhole. Now it … [Read more...]
July Recommended Reading
Surviving Infidelity: Making Decisions, Recovering from the Pain by Rona B. Subotnik and Gloria Harris This book is an oldie but goodie. It has been around for years but has stood the test of time and is still relevant today for those healing from infidelity. The beginning of the book can be particularly helpful for those who are dealing with emotional affairs. The authors devote a section to … [Read more...]
Embracing Failure in Recovery
By: Robert Rubinow, LPC The addicted mind is permeated with thoughts that bend one’s view of reality into an unrecognizable panorama. These negative thoughts—like little seedlings deposited by our adverse experiences of the world, and often, the families or cultures we grow up in—grow over time into an interconnected labyrinth of beliefs with deep and hazardous roots, like a dense, defended … [Read more...]
On Recovery and the Love of Old Books
By: Robert Rubinow, LPC Perusing the musty pages and yellowed dustjackets of my home library recently, I was struck by remembrances of elegant passages that once helped ease dark moments of pain in my life. Some were tickets for voyages to far-away places I could escape to in my imagination when I felt afraid. Other passages lifted my perspective so I could see a clearer horizon beyond the … [Read more...]
Weathering No Man’s Land, Part 2
The stretch of desert called no man’s land feels intolerable for betrayed partners. Nevertheless, the inherent manner in which healing betrayal trauma unfolds requires us to temporarily weather this untenable and painful stretch of territory. In some way, betrayed partners must figure out how to tolerate the intolerable for a period of time, and that is no small task. Years ago, when I was … [Read more...]
No Man’s Land, Part 1
When betrayed partners first enter treatment they are often mid-trauma.There is no post-traumatic stress; instead, they are dealing with ongoing traumatic stress wrought by newly discovered past betrayals, currently unfolding betrayals, and the very real fear of future discoveries and betrayals. Research shows very clearly that the antidote for relational distress resulting from attachment … [Read more...]
June Recommended Reading
Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships by Dr. Sue Johnson Sue Johnson is the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, an attachment-based approach that helps couple build a safe bond with one another that allows intimacy to flourish. While Johnson has written several books on EFT this is her most popular seller as it provides an eye-opening … [Read more...]
CRR Team Spotlight, Cheryl Schenck
Over the coming weeks we want to introduce you to members of CRR’s Clinical Team who you may not yet know. This week we invite you to take a few minutes to get to know a little bit more about Cheryl Schenck. Cheryl Schenck is a Licensed Professional Counselor who works with individuals and couples, and leads groups. Cheryl has been with the Center for Relational Recovery since 2012. After she … [Read more...]
Do My Words Matter?
Words are potent. They can be the vehicle we use to deliver love, affirmation, appreciation, and hope. Conversely, words have the power to hurt, condescend, hate, and offend. In the Bible, the book of Proverbs says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Sigmund Freud said, “Words have a magical power. They can either bring the greatest happiness or the deepest despair.” Even with … [Read more...]
The Gifts of Gratitude in Recovery
“Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a gift. It liberates us from the prison of self-preoccupation.” ― John Ortberg It is easy during recovery—when our eyes are turned toward our failures and our hopes toward sobriety—to become lost in self-preoccupation and unhealthy introspection. After all, depending on our medicated self to “figure it all out” has been our modus operandi for a … [Read more...]
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