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Welcome to the Center for Relational Recovery

Each week we publish a new blog post covering topics related to addiction, betrayal trauma, relationships, and recovery. Included in these posts are a monthly reading recommendation spotlighting two books that we think should not be missed as well as a post pointing you to helpful recovery resources and information.

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  • Each week we publish a new blog post covering topics related to addiction, betrayal trauma, relationships, and recovery. Included in these posts are a monthly reading recommendation spotlighting two books that we think should not be missed as well as a post pointing you to helpful recovery resources and information.

    Sign up below to receive CRR’s weekly blog post.

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Center for Relational Recovery

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The Dynamic Multi-Dimensional Nature of Betrayal Trauma

In my previous two posts, we deepened our understanding of complex trauma, primarily focusing on the fact that when relational betrayal occurs, the resulting complex trauma often manifests as emotional dysregulation and/or relational disconnection. In this post, we turn our attention to exploring the dynamic, multi-dimensional aspects of betrayal trauma. In 2006, Dr. Barbara Steffens, a … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Recovering Couples, Recovery Resources, Trauma Tagged With: betrayal trauma, Betrayed Partners, complex trauma

Complex Betrayal Trauma & Relational Disconnection

In last month's post, I introduced the concept of complex trauma, which Christine Courtois defines as “traumatic stressors that are interpersonal, that are premeditated, planned, and caused by other humans, such as violation and/or exploitation of another person.”[1]We looked at the emotional dysregulation that results from complex trauma and the key symptoms experienced by betrayed partners. This … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Recovering Couples, Recovery Resources, Trauma Tagged With: Behavior, betrayal trauma, Betrayed Partners, complex trauma

Complex Betrayal Trauma & Emotional Dysregulation

Betrayal trauma makes you feel like you are losing your mind. It puts you on an emotional rack and pulls you in opposite directions until you are begging for mercy. It yanks your sense of security out from under you and puts you in a state of emotional free fall. It is severely emotionally distressing, and until you have experienced it, you really can’t imagine how truly life-altering the … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Betrayed Partners, Recovering Couples, Recovery Resources, Self-Care Tagged With: Betrayed Partners, complex trauma, emotional dystregulation

March Recommended Reading

Fierce Intimacy by Terry Real (Audible Audiobook) I’m bringing you an audio-book this month because, why not? Terry Real is someone whose books I have recommended in past months. He is a master couple’s therapist and writes and speaks eloquently about how to do intimacy well. In this audio-book, Terry helps couples understand the issues creating conflict or disconnection in their relationship … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Inspirational, Recommended Reading, Recovery Resources, Self-Care Tagged With: books, Recommended Reading, Stephen Levine, Terry real

February Recomended ​Reading

Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy by David Richo If you are at the point in your healing from betrayal that you are wanting to really think deeply and work on how to rebuild trust in your relationship and with yourself, this is a great book for you. David provides a thoughtful definition of trust and looks at the key building blocks that must be in place for trust … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Healthy Sex, Pornography Addiction, Recommended Reading, Recovery Resources, Sexual Addiction Tagged With: addiction, book, love, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Addiction, trust

Ten Things To Do (and Not Do) After Betrayal

If you've been cheated on, no matter how it is revealed or how it is done, where, when, or with whom, the painful fact is that cheating means you've been lied to, manipulated, and your trust has been betrayed.  It's like an earthquake shaking you to your core. And the aftershocks can seem even more painful and jarring. The consequences, repercussions, outcomes, emotions, and reactions seem … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Betrayed Partners, Hope, Recommended Reading, Recovering Couples, Recovery Resources, Self-Care Tagged With: Betrayed Partners, ebook, healing, steps

January Recommende​​d Reading

Daring to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. By Brene Brown If you have not yet picked up something by Brene Brown and been wowed by it, this might be your time. Building on her research and writing on shame, vulnerability and how to show up, be present and operate from your most authentic self, Brene now addresses these issues in the workplace. If you think about how much … [Read more...]

Filed Under: News, Recommended Reading, Recovery Resources Tagged With: books, Brene Brown, Dr. Sheri Keffer, Recommended Reading

A Look Back

As we celebrate the holiday season with family and friends, we thought this week we'd review some of the most popular blog posts of 2018.  We wish you a joyful holiday season and a happy new year. ~ The Center for Relational Recovery Team The Bookshelf Okay, this isn't a blog post but it is one of our most popular pages. We update it frequently and encourage you to browse … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Betrayed Partners, Hope, Inspirational, News, Recommended Reading, Recovery Resources, Spotlight on Recovery Resources Tagged With: blog, holidays, resources

The Knowing And Not Knowing of Betrayal Blindness

Many betrayed partners come into therapy in a state of shock and disbelief about their partner’s extracurricular sexual behaviors. They sit on my couch and tell me they had no idea, not even an inkling, of what their significant other was doing. I listen to them, and I know that their shock and surprise about what they have discovered is real, and they truly did not know what was happening. But I … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Betrayed Partners, Healthy Sex, Hope, Inspirational, News, Pornography Addiction, Recovering Couples, Recovery Resources, Sexual Addiction, Spotlight on Recovery Resources, The Aftermath of Betrayal, Trauma Tagged With: attachment, Behavior, denial

Love and Survival – Boundaries in Relationship

calendar reminder about boundaries

Written by Cheryl Schenck, LPC, CSAT This time of year, many of us are spending more time with extended family than usual, which often brings up conflicted and uncomfortable feelings. One of the secrets to surviving these complicated, yet meaningful relationships is to have an understanding of boundaries in relationships. We need to have good boundaries to love well. Boundaries encompass … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Hope, Inspirational, News, Recovery Resources, Self-Care Tagged With: boundaries, boundary, family, holidays, relationships

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  • Sexual Addiction
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Blog & Events

Why We Sherlock, Part 1

Yes, I did. I just turned Sherlock into a verb. Someone slap a trademark on that for me, … [Read More...]

CRR Blog is Moving

You may have noticed that there is not much being posted here on the Center for Relational Recovery … [Read More...]

Resisting The Temptation To Isolate After Betrayal

In the aftermath of betrayal, it can be tempting to isolate – curling into yourself and hiding away … [Read More...]

Setting Realistic Expectations After Betrayal

In the aftermath of betrayal, your body and mind are struggling with an ongoing trauma response. As … [Read More...]

The Cheating Partner’s Moment of Truth

Two things motivate change in human beings: fear and desire. After the crisis of betrayal, fear is … [Read More...]

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