Female hand pushing dominoes on grey background In my previous two posts, we deepened our understanding of complex trauma, primarily focusing on the fact that when relational betrayal occurs, the resulting complex trauma often manifests as emotional dysregulation and/or relational disconnection. In this post, we turn our attention to exploring the dynamic, multi-dimensional aspects of betrayal … [Read more...]
Complex Betrayal Trauma & Relational Disconnection
In last month's post, I introduced the concept of complex trauma, which Christine Courtois defines as “traumatic stressors that are interpersonal, that are premeditated, planned, and caused by other humans, such as violation and/or exploitation of another person.”[1]We looked at the emotional dysregulation that results from complex trauma and the key symptoms experienced by betrayed partners. This … [Read more...]
Complex Betrayal Trauma & Emotional Dysregulation
Betrayal trauma makes you feel like you are losing your mind. It puts you on an emotional rack and pulls you in opposite directions until you are begging for mercy. It yanks your sense of security out from under you and puts you in a state of emotional free fall. It is severely emotionally distressing, and until you have experienced it, you really can’t imagine how truly life-altering the … [Read more...]
March Recommended Reading
Fierce Intimacy by Terry Real (Audible Audiobook) I’m bringing you an audio-book this month because, why not? Terry Real is someone whose books I have recommended in past months. He is a master couple’s therapist and writes and speaks eloquently about how to do intimacy well. In this audio-book, Terry helps couples understand the issues creating conflict or disconnection in their … [Read more...]
February Recomended Reading
Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy by David Richo If you are at the point in your healing from betrayal that you are wanting to really think deeply and work on how to rebuild trust in your relationship and with yourself, this is a great book for you. David provides a thoughtful definition of trust and looks at the key building blocks that must be in place for trust … [Read more...]
Ten Things To Do (and Not Do) After Betrayal
If you've been cheated on, no matter how it is revealed or how it is done, where, when, or with whom, the painful fact is that cheating means you've been lied to, manipulated, and your trust has been betrayed. It's like an earthquake shaking you to your core. And the aftershocks can seem even more painful and jarring. The consequences, repercussions, outcomes, emotions, and reactions seem … [Read more...]
January Recommended Reading
Daring to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. By Brene Brown If you have not yet picked up something by Brene Brown and been wowed by it, this might be your time. Building on her research and writing on shame, vulnerability and how to show up, be present and operate from your most authentic self, Brene now addresses these issues in the workplace. If you think about how much … [Read more...]
A Look Back
As we celebrate the holiday season with family and friends, we thought this week we'd review some of the most popular blog posts of 2018. We wish you a joyful holiday season and a happy new year. ~ The Center for Relational Recovery … [Read more...]
The Knowing And Not Knowing of Betrayal Blindness
Many betrayed partners come into therapy in a state of shock and disbelief about their partner’s extracurricular sexual behaviors. They sit on my couch and tell me they had no idea, not even an inkling, of what their significant other was doing. I listen to them, and I know that their shock and surprise about what they have discovered is real, and they truly did not know what was happening. But I … [Read more...]
Love and Survival – Boundaries in Relationship
Written by Cheryl Schenck, LPC, CSAT This time of year, many of us are spending more time with extended family than usual, which often brings up conflicted and uncomfortable feelings. One of the secrets to surviving these complicated, yet meaningful relationships is to have an understanding of boundaries in relationships. We need to have good boundaries to love well. Boundaries encompass … [Read more...]
- 1
- 2
- 3
- …
- 7
- Next Page »