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Welcome to the Center for Relational Recovery

Each week we publish a new blog post covering topics related to addiction, betrayal trauma, relationships, and recovery. Included in these posts are a monthly reading recommendation spotlighting two books that we think should not be missed as well as a post pointing you to helpful recovery resources and information.

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  • Each week we publish a new blog post covering topics related to addiction, betrayal trauma, relationships, and recovery. Included in these posts are a monthly reading recommendation spotlighting two books that we think should not be missed as well as a post pointing you to helpful recovery resources and information.

    Sign up below to receive CRR’s weekly blog post.

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Center for Relational Recovery

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Becoming the Hero of Your Betrayal Story

Life often presents us with unsought challenges that almost always have a hidden possibility within them. This hidden possibility is the call that the crisis presents us with – a call to leave what is known and familiar and move toward the unknown and unfamiliar. By accepting that the crisis in front of us is about more than just surviving, we step into a journey that takes us through new … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Betrayed Partners, Hope, Inspirational, Recovering Couples, Self-Care, The Aftermath of Betrayal Tagged With: Betrayal, Courage, Hero, Story, Trauma

MUSINGS ON THE SEX AFTER BETRAYAL INTENSIVE

In June we held the first Sex After Betrayal: Reclaiming Your Sexual Self therapy intensive. It was a transformative five days of learning, growing, stretching, hoping and risking. As we wrapped up our time together and I reflected on all that had happened, there were several things that struck me. Below are some of my musings as a result of spending time with the amazing group of women who … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Healthy Sex, Recovering Couples, Sexual Addiction, The Aftermath of Betrayal Tagged With: intensive, Sex, Sexual Pleasure, Sexuality

The Cheater Before Discovery and The Cheater After Discovery: Two Different People

Today’s blog is written not just for you as a betrayed partner, but for your therapists, your pastors, your friends and family members, your 12-Step fellowship group members, and anyone else who is part of your support system as you seek healing. What I want to talk about is the difference between who your cheating partner is before the cheating is discovered and who he is after the cheating is … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Betrayed Partners, Recovering Couples, Sexual Addiction, The Aftermath of Betrayal Tagged With: Betrayal, Cheating, Discovery

The Dynamic Multi-Dimensional Nature of Betrayal Trauma

In my previous two posts, we deepened our understanding of complex trauma, primarily focusing on the fact that when relational betrayal occurs, the resulting complex trauma often manifests as emotional dysregulation and/or relational disconnection. In this post, we turn our attention to exploring the dynamic, multi-dimensional aspects of betrayal trauma. In 2006, Dr. Barbara Steffens, a … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Recovering Couples, Recovery Resources, Trauma Tagged With: betrayal trauma, Betrayed Partners, complex trauma

Complex Betrayal Trauma & Relational Disconnection

In last month's post, I introduced the concept of complex trauma, which Christine Courtois defines as “traumatic stressors that are interpersonal, that are premeditated, planned, and caused by other humans, such as violation and/or exploitation of another person.”[1]We looked at the emotional dysregulation that results from complex trauma and the key symptoms experienced by betrayed partners. This … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Recovering Couples, Recovery Resources, Trauma Tagged With: Behavior, betrayal trauma, Betrayed Partners, complex trauma

Complex Betrayal Trauma & Emotional Dysregulation

Betrayal trauma makes you feel like you are losing your mind. It puts you on an emotional rack and pulls you in opposite directions until you are begging for mercy. It yanks your sense of security out from under you and puts you in a state of emotional free fall. It is severely emotionally distressing, and until you have experienced it, you really can’t imagine how truly life-altering the … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Betrayed Partners, Recovering Couples, Recovery Resources, Self-Care Tagged With: Betrayed Partners, complex trauma, emotional dystregulation

Betrayal Requires Relational Recovery

If the significant wound of betrayal happens in relationship (and betrayal is always relational), then it makes sense that our healing and restoration must also happen in relationship. The impact of betrayal is always felt most profoundly in our sense of relational disconnection. We feel disconnected from ourselves and who we knew ourselves to be, from our significant other and who we thought he … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Betrayed Partners, Recovering Couples, The Aftermath of Betrayal Tagged With: Betrayed Partners, Center for Relational Recovery, PartnerHope, relationships

Ten Things To Do (and Not Do) After Betrayal

If you've been cheated on, no matter how it is revealed or how it is done, where, when, or with whom, the painful fact is that cheating means you've been lied to, manipulated, and your trust has been betrayed.  It's like an earthquake shaking you to your core. And the aftershocks can seem even more painful and jarring. The consequences, repercussions, outcomes, emotions, and reactions seem … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Betrayed Partners, Hope, Recommended Reading, Recovering Couples, Recovery Resources, Self-Care Tagged With: Betrayed Partners, ebook, healing, steps

The Knowing And Not Knowing of Betrayal Blindness

Many betrayed partners come into therapy in a state of shock and disbelief about their partner’s extracurricular sexual behaviors. They sit on my couch and tell me they had no idea, not even an inkling, of what their significant other was doing. I listen to them, and I know that their shock and surprise about what they have discovered is real, and they truly did not know what was happening. But I … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Betrayed Partners, Healthy Sex, Hope, Inspirational, News, Pornography Addiction, Recovering Couples, Recovery Resources, Sexual Addiction, Spotlight on Recovery Resources, The Aftermath of Betrayal, Trauma Tagged With: attachment, Behavior, denial

Betrayal: It’s Not Your Fault

Most betrayed partners carry the burden of the same secret fear: that it is some lack in them that has caused their significant other to seek sexual experiences outside of the relationship. The fear goes something like this: If I were thinner, had bigger breasts, was taller, had tighter thighs, were younger, had a prettier face…then he would not be looking at pornography on the Internet. … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Betrayed Partners, Healthy Sex, Hope, Inspirational, News, Pornography Addiction, Recovering Couples, Recovery Resources, Sexual Addiction, Spotlight on Recovery Resources, The Aftermath of Betrayal, Trauma

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  • Sexual Addiction
  • Betrayal Trauma
  • Recovering Relationships

Blog & Events

Why We Sherlock, Part 1

Yes, I did. I just turned Sherlock into a verb. Someone slap a trademark on that for me, … [Read More...]

CRR Blog is Moving

You may have noticed that there is not much being posted here on the Center for Relational Recovery … [Read More...]

Resisting The Temptation To Isolate After Betrayal

In the aftermath of betrayal, it can be tempting to isolate – curling into yourself and hiding away … [Read More...]

Setting Realistic Expectations After Betrayal

In the aftermath of betrayal, your body and mind are struggling with an ongoing trauma response. As … [Read More...]

The Cheating Partner’s Moment of Truth

Two things motivate change in human beings: fear and desire. After the crisis of betrayal, fear is … [Read More...]

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Center for Relational Recovery offers the information on this website, inclusive of but not limited to text, images and other material, for informational purposes only. This information should not be taken as advice or specific treatment recommendations; nor should it be used under any circumstances for diagnostic purposes. You are encouraged to make any health-related decisions in consultation with your qualified health care provider. Treatment results may vary from person to person.

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