Codependency is a relational disorder in which a person struggles to maintain a sense of self while being interconnected to others. To see a list of the patterns and characteristics of codependency click here.
Several of the clinical staff at the Center for Relational Recovery have been trained by Pia Mellody, a nationally known expert in the treatment of codependency. To make an appointment with one of our trained therapists contact us.
Pia Mellody has defined the following five core issues of codependency.
Self–esteem Issues: Self-esteem comes from the ability to value the self from the deep knowledge of one’s inherent worth. Struggling with self-esteem results in a relational style of going one-up (better-than) or one-down (less-than) in relationships with others.
Boundary Issues: Boundaries exist to facilitate intimacy in relationships. Struggling with boundaries can look like being boundary-less (too vulnerable or victimized) or being walled off (invulnerable) or bouncing back and forth between the two extremes.
Reality Issues: Children need to have their reality validated. If a child experiences some type of abuse or abandonment when expressing their reality, they will learn to detach from their reality over time. As adults they will have a difficult time knowing what their reality is or holding on to their reality in the face of someone else’s reality.
Needs/Wants: Healthy adults know how to be interdependent with others and to take responsibility for getting their needs and wants met. Struggling with dependency issues results in being too dependent, anti-dependent, or unaware of one’s needs and wants.
Moderation Issues: Knowing how to live life moderately is a key adult skill. Struggling with moderation can look like being very controlling, super-mature, and over-doing or can look like being out-of-control, super-immature and under-doing.